Old Friends

I had a pretty bad falling out with a good friend a few years ago. The whole thing was awful and heartbreaking and ugly. This friend was my very best friend for years. It was one of those friendships that just… worked. Not that my fabulous girlfriends now aren’t utterly and completely amazing, of course. 

The details of the falling out aren’t important. The important part is that I was so mad for so long. I just couldn’t shake her, every time I thought of her I would get so frustrated. This had been going on for about two years. If it came up in conversation, I could play it off like another of my awful stories but internally, I felt like I swallowed a swarm of bees. Sounds like a bad break up, right? It kind of was.

It wasn’t until recently that I really started to think about why I was still so upset. It had been literally years, I’d never been hung up on a boy for that long! I came to the conclusion that I was upset because I missed her. Once the thought crossed my mind, I couldn’t stop. I missed the connection we had, I missed how much we laughed and could talk about everything. It seems like such typical “best friend stuff” and for the most part, it is. I’m not trying to make this too mushy but basically, I idolized this girl. She was a couple years older and just seemed so much more grown up than I was. She was pretty and independent and had a boyfriend that drove. It was just so cool. Being a teenage girl is hard, it was easier to do when I had someone to look up to. And we got through some pretty shitty stuff together. We talked on the phone for hours at a time and we never ran out of stuff to talk about. Like I said, typical “best friend stuff.” Anyways, the point is I missed her. There’s just something about a friend that knows you. 

So after a few weeks of stressing about it, I decided to reach out to her. We had a stupid, albeit horrible, falling out but did that really cancel out how good of friends we were and how well we got along? We were both at fault, neither of us handled it well, but hey, it was like the worst breakup ever and who ever handles bad breakups well?  All the same though, I was pretty nervous to actually send her a message. I probably wouldn’t have been able to hit send if I didn’t have a glass of wine for courage [don’t judge]. And I’m very glad I did. We have plans to get together and catch up and I am so excited. Really nervous, but excited. I’ve already got pre-date jitters!

Anyways, I don’t really have a point. I’m just glad I reached out. It’ll be nice to have her back in my life.